DOG FREE TO A GOOD HOME
Adoptive Human Must Have:
1. The patience of a Saint.
2. No real attachment to personal belongings like:
- Credit Cards
- Brand spankin' new dresses that are still hanging in your closet
- Your favorite little pair of black high heel shoes
- Newly purchased earrings
- Throw blankets that were doing nothing but sitting on your couch
- Swarovski Flatback Rhinestones still in the package
- Brand new kids shoes still in store bags
3. A love for sharing! When you sit down to eat, he expects first dibs.
4. Must have an unlimited supply of collars. So far this rambunctious guy has managed to chew through 10!
The benefit of taking this amazing Dog:
1. He is SMART! He answers to numerous names:
- That was NEW!
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- And many others I can't put here...
2. He has extensive knowledge of Water Well Piping Systems. He knows exactly when you are going to need new piping and will rip it up for you!
3. Its like having your own Valet with this dog! He will stand right in the middle of your busy road directly your guest and even new friends you haven't met yet straight into your yard.
4. Are you having a hard time separating your child from their favorite ratty toy? Not with this Dog, little Sally's favorite doll will be headless and unappealing in a matter of minutes.
5. Are you tired of your husband leaving every weekend riding his Motorcycle. Well those days are no more with this dog. He will eat the chin straps right off his Motorcycle helmet preventing him from those weekend rides.
6. Are you trying to get in shape? Harley will push you to your max! Want to walk? There is no walking! He will have you running all over your local walking trails!
7. Would you like your husband to clean out his "man cave" or maybe your garage? Gone are the days you have to ask him to do so because this dog takes initiative! He will start the process for him!
He comes with:
1. 1 half eaten plastic water bowl that if you tilt on its side, it still holds water!
2. 2 metal doggy bowls that are slightly bent with numerous teeth marks but they add character!
3. A fabulous "runner" that has house siding still attached!
4. A huge unused fluffy doggy bed that will come in super handy for you to sleep on while he is sleeping on your Serta mattress.
5. Tons of dog toys that he has kindly removed the squeakers from so you never have to hear him play!
6. A lovely dog house that he has ever so gently removed the roof from because he likes the way the sun beats down on him in the mornings.
7. A *NEW* large metal cage. We aren't talking just any cage, we are talking a heavy cage with a door large enough for you to walk through. All you have to do is put him in at night, lock it up and he will be out and sitting on your front porch to greet you in the morning like the great dog he is!
All of this for the fabulous price of: