DOG FREE TO A GOOD HOME: PERSON MUST HAVE PATIENCE OF A SAINT!

DOG FREE TO A GOOD HOME

Adoptive Human Must Have:

1. The patience of a Saint.

2. No real attachment to personal belongings like:

• Credit Cards
• Panties
• Brand spankin' new dresses that are still hanging in your closet
• Your favorite little pair of black high heel shoes
• Newly purchased earrings
• Throw blankets that were doing nothing but sitting on your couch
• Swarovski Flatback Rhinestones still in the package
• Toothbrushes
• Brand new kids shoes still in store bags

3. A love for sharing! When you sit down to eat, he expects first dibs.

4. Must have an unlimited supply of collars. So far this rambunctious guy has managed to chew through 10!

The benefit of taking this amazing Dog:

1. He is SMART! He answers to numerous names:

• Harley
• No
• Damnit
• That was NEW!
• ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
• SERIOUSLY?
• And many others I can't put here...

2. He has extensive knowledge of Water Well Piping Systems. He knows exactly when you are going to need new piping and will rip it up for you!

3. Its like having your own Valet with this dog! He will stand right in the middle of your busy road directly your guest and even new friends you haven't met yet straight into your yard.

4. Are you having a hard time separating your child from their favorite ratty toy? Not with this Dog, little Sally's favorite doll will be headless and unappealing in a matter of minutes. 

5. Are you tired of your husband leaving every weekend riding his Motorcycle. Well those days are no more with this dog. He will eat the chin straps right off his Motorcycle helmet preventing him from those weekend rides.

6. Are you trying to get in shape? Harley will push you to your max! Want to walk? There is no walking! He will have you running all over your local walking trails!

7. Would you like your husband to clean out his "man cave" or maybe your garage? Gone are the days you have to ask him to do so because this dog takes initiative! He will start the process for him!

He comes with:

1. 1 half eaten plastic water bowl that if you tilt on its side, it still holds water!

2. 2 metal doggy bowls that are slightly bent with numerous teeth marks but they add character!

3. A fabulous "runner" that has house siding still attached!

4. A huge unused fluffy doggy bed that will come in super handy for you to sleep on while he is sleeping on your Serta mattress.

5. Tons of dog toys that he has kindly removed the squeakers from so you never have to hear him play!

6. A lovely dog house that he has ever so gently removed the roof from because he likes the way the sun beats down on him in the mornings.

7. A *NEW* large metal cage. We aren't talking just any cage, we are talking a heavy cage with a door large enough for you to walk through. All you have to do is put him in at night, lock it up and he will be out and sitting on your front porch to greet you in the morning like the great dog he is!

All of this for the fabulous price of:

FREE

Speaking of Tampons...

I got so tickled during a conversation I had with a friend this afternoon. She is one of those friends who is just as busy as me but when we finally are able to connect to chat a few times a week we catch up on everything and try to see each other when we can.

During this conversation she was telling me how she sent her teenage daughter to the store to buy her some tampons. She said that her daughter came back with what she calls "mini tampons". She explained to her that she could not use these tampons and she just needed regular tampons. Her daughter of course comes back with "Why?". She then tells her that she will explain it to her one day but today was not going to be the day and to just go get her some regular tampons.

She then says to me:

"Ciera! Guess what she came back with?"

So I immediately think she picked her up some super soaker huge tampons... maybe even the scented kind (eww).

She then says:

"She came back with clicker tampons! Do you know what a clicker tampon is? Have you ever seen that? I mean I kept waiting for the click and I wasted three of the damn things trying to figure it out. Then when I finally got it in I still didn't hear a click so you know I'm still not really sure if I have it in right."

Well thank you Lord that I was not driving. Thankfully I was riding in the car with my husband because by the time I stopped laughing I was nearly crying.

So when I got home, I just had to Google clicker tampons. I believe she is referring to U by Kotex Click Tampons.

Sneak peek of our Adventure Land Adventure

Here is a sneak peek of our little adventure to Adventure Land this weekend. :) I think Nick had more fun that the kids... but that is usually the case. More pictures to come tomorrow!

 

Flowers for Mother's Day --- Totally made my day!

My two year old son calls me Boo Boo. It is kind of funny really. I have never really been one to have nicknames for my kids but for some unknown reason I started calling Collin "Boo Boo" when he was a baby. Well a few months ago he started calling ME "Boo Boo". Not Mom, not Mommy, not Mama... Boo Boo.

My husband thinks it is hilarious. When he first started doing it I started trying to correct him but then I just gave up on it. Especially after Nick pointed out to me that one day he is going to grow up and I am no longer going to be Boo Boo or Mommy. I will just be "MOM". Once I come in from work Collin will let out this squeal of excitement and scream "BOO BOO!" it is seriously the cutest thing ever.

Anyway... I received a package in the mail at work on Friday from ProFlowers.com. Let me just say that whoever founded ProFlowers.com just has to be a man. A woman just could not have come up with the idea of putting flowers wrapped up, in a box with a vase that you take out of the box, put the water in with the little flower food and then wait 12 hours or more for them to bloom. 

Now, I don't want this to sound like I am complaining about my Mother's Day Flowers because I was so very happy to get Flower's from my little "Boo Boo". It was so precious that Nick actually sent to card from my little man but when Nick even saw the flowers I think he was a little disappointed in the way that they looked. When I went back into work today and  yes, 12 + hours had passed, my flowers hadn't really perked up yet still. 

I will post pictures once they do. :)

So ProFlowers.com failed but my husband rocked it this Mother's Day. :)

Dear God my 7 year old told me she kissed a boy

Me and my husband have been trying to stay in the habit of walking and/or jogging every night after work. We were doing pretty good there for a while going to the walking trails after work but then life got in the way and we stopped.

There is this Dollar General right down the road from our house but I never go to it because it is in the opposite direction from the way I normally travel. So its like we know its there for an emergency but normally I never go. Anyway... the other night I went there to get ice and noticed a sign for a walking trail right down the road from my house. Oh my gosh... how have I never noticed this before? So I tell my husband about it and we make a plan to go walking the next day.

Well the next day comes and I realize my son has a Tball game... ok maybe no walking tonight. Then the more I thought about it I thought you know what I am sure I can come up with an excuse every single day that would keep me from getting up and just going! So I went to Noah's game and then headed home with three kids in tow. My nephew was over at our house fixing our sink. Yes, I said my nephew and if you want to know why it wasn't my husband just read my Mr Fix It post from a few months back and you will understand. So I asked him if he would keep an eye on Collin and Noah while me, Nick and Madison went to go walking.

Why couldn't Noah go? Noah couldn't go because he can't get his act together. He got yet another red at school that day and his punishment was not being able to go. Even though I am sure by the time we finished walking Madison probably felt like she was the one receiving the punishment.  :-)

So as we are walking my little chatty Madison is telling us about everything. I mean EVERYTHING... this child holds nothing back. I'm surprised she didn't tell us what color socks the girl that sits next to her at school that day was wearing. So we are walking along and she ends up stepping in between me and Nick and reaches out to hold both of our hands. Yes, it was one of those --- I love being a Mom --- moments. Well Madison has this little boy named Lawson that she has been smitten about since she was in preschool. So I (jokingly) ask her if she has a boyfriend.

Madison has always referred to Lawson as her little boyfriend. Several months ago I asked Madison about Lawson and she said that he "broke up with her" and that she "didn't want to talk about it". Well ooookay then. So of course my husband pipes in and says "No she doesn't have a boyfriend! She is never going to have a boyfriend!" and Madison just giggles. So a few minutes go by and she says "Mama I see Lawson on the playground at school and he runs from me." Well I had my fair share of little boys running from me on the playground and we all know how that goes. Its like this child like flirting.

So I say "Really? Why" and she says "I don't know why... I mean we kissed before but he tells people that we didn't." OH MY! If you could have seen the look on my husbands face. He immediately pipes into the conversation now and says "You kissed him? He kissed you? Where did you kiss him at? Madison you can't be kissing boys! Where was everyone at when this happened? That is not ok!"

So Madison gets this look on her face like ok I don't know if Dad is kidding or mad or both. So I step in and say "Well Madison, when you say kissed do you mean kissed on the cheek?" Of course she says yes, that is what she meant. So then I go into this whole well you know we are married so we kiss and kissing really should be reserved for a husband and a wife... blah blah blah.

Yes, stop judging me! I know boyfriend and girlfriends kiss and I know people that aren't boyfriend and girlfriends kiss and I know people that shouldn't be kissing each other kiss but dam*it as far as my daughter is concerned you don't kiss anyone unless your married. So then she just looks up at me with her innocent little brown eyes and says "Oh, ok. I won't kiss anybody."

I'm not ready for this...

My Sick Little Man

Collin was up at around 5:30am this morning bouncing all over the place. Me and Nick were both barely functioning at 5:30am. -.-

Nick got him ready for daycare as I was getting ready for work and he started getting so cranky! As Nick was finishing getting ready Collin was steadily pulling on his pants leg wanting to "get in the car... get in the car". So Nick went outside, opened up the doors to the car and fastened Collin is his car seat with his sippy cup and snack while we finished getting ready. 

Yeah, yeah.... don't judge me! We live out in the middle of nowhere and I can see the car and Collin sitting in it from where we get ready. Anyway... when I go out to get in the car the little man is fast asleep. At that time I was thinking yeah Collin getting up at 5:30am will do that to ya. :)

We take him to daycare and within about an hour and a half... the daycare calls. He is burning up with a 103 degree fever. They said he wouldn't eat and could barely sit up. My poor little man... off to the pediatrician we go!

Confessions from the Gynecologist Office

I haven't seen a gynecologist since I had an IUD put in right after the little man was born so I decided that it was probably time to make an appointment. Plus I have been having some killer hot flashes. I am 25 years old. I am way too young for hot flashes. I made an appointment with a clinic that has all women doctors and let me just say, I LOVED it! The mood at this office was completely different than any office I have ever been into. They all seemed to truly love their jobs. Plus I have to admit I smiled when I saw their little sign behind the nurses desk are that said "Put your big girl panties on and just deal with it!"

Now I am not saying that all male gynecologists are insensitive but I do believe that women can be more sympathetic and more understanding because chances are, what you are going through they have gone through too because I mean after all... I hate to point out the obvious but they have one!

I did get a little tickled though because I felt like I was going through all these crazy hormonal changes and that I was just totally out of whack until I went in and filled out their new patient survey and after I checked most everything on their lists I though well ya know what I must be pretty darn normal because all of my symptoms have made the list. Ha...

So the doctor comes in and she asks a few non medical questions to just kind of lighten the mood and get to know me I guess. I guess it's the least she could do since she wasn't taking me to dinner first. Kidding...

Anyway... so as I am telling her about my issues sleeping, my hot flashes and my weight gain (yes, weight gain because I have gained like 14 pounds! Eeeek!) She then looks at the nurse and says lets get the results from her urine test. I'm thinking oh yes, lets do because if I'm pregnant my doctor in West Palm Beach who inserted my IUD has some 'splainin to do. Of course I was not pregnant. 

Had an ultrasound and found that I did have a cyst on my left ovarie which has recently ruptured and there is fluid behind my uterus. I keep telling myself that is why I have gained a little weight even though I know (sigh) that is not true. 

You know what I think is so funny though? How when they give you the little gown to put on and then leave the room for you to change. Well thank you for giving me a bit of privacy as I get naked for you to check me out down there and give me a breast exam. So all the things I am worried about covering up your going to be ravaging anyway. Then when they come back they politely knock to see if you are ready. Well no I'm never really ready for this but come on in!